Ok, so what did I dream today – In the End of the dream it was about working again and the Point of Fear of responsibility in a random position in the System and I saw that the fear is there because I haven never taken responsibility before – have never done it before so it’s the fear or the unknown and I could see that when I do take responsibility the Fear is going away or melting basically – so what that means is that it is only something imagined because of making a Job making a Profession more than me instead of simply a expression/doing of Me wherein I trust myself absolutely to learn and acquire the necessary Skills etc. I see that the fear is more connected to ones self-image and Cycling into a abyss the less one can physically practically apply oneself/the Skills/Knowledge one has, as this tend to be connected: The less one do take responsibility the less one do trust oneself to be able to take responsibility and then the lack of Opportunity is related back to self and there the Failure/I am not Good enough-Charcter comes/creeps in, what is then used/accepted as an valid excuse/reason/justification to not take responsibility, showing it self in Backchat of Giving up/not wanting to/being feed up/procrastination.
So, the first Key-Point is the Imagination of “a responsibility in the future” what will look bigger, hard, greater – the very act of imagining “what it will be like” is a deception and it happens fucking fast, where in half a minute I will create and check through a Job-Description and make myself a “picture” of it that I compare myself to me sitting here in a completely different position in the System, doing something different – What is again bringing up the Point of “What I do” should/must not determine “Who I am” as “Who I am” is here in every Moment of every Breath. The Believe exists within myself that I must change myself as in Charakter-Building what contradicts that “Who I am” is Stable and so reveals the idea/definition of the Self-Image/Charakter I have of Me Now and the one in the Future as a Illusion.
The Point remains the same wherever I am: Taking responsibility for myself in every Moment.
What is the Point/Pattern hindering me: Fear of the “Unknown/New” and then creating Projections/Imaginations to “prepare myself” and assess a situation.
The fear of not knowing is interesting because I experience it as a energetic reaction in my solar-plexus as a mixture of adventure, anxiety, excitement when really looking at points where “I have not been before” in terms of relationship-Creations and I see the tendency of immediately wanting to have a “good/positive” Outcome, “making it work good”. For Whom? Myself as the Mind, serving the Imaginations I have designed and projected about myself = to see myself as Positive/Good = meeting/fitting/fulfilling the positive Self-image of me in my Mind that was a Illusion from the Start – what is not possible – and quite a fascinating conundrum as it has nothing to do with the real things/practical living that is required in a Job/Relationships/every Moment with myself – it is the very self-created Point of Self-Sabotage as I make it bigger, greater, harder, more in my mind than is in walking practical physical Reality in Self-trust breath by breath.
So it is in fact a Self-limitation: When I do not know what something will be like, I conjure Up Something in my Mind that is an illusion – This illusion I Judge as if it was real and define myself in Relation to it as More/Capable/Easy because I KNOW IT and thus have certainty – what is the Certain Limitation – or it will require Learning/Change/Participation – essentially change – because I don’t know it and “cannot Control” it through the Knowledge and Information “I have” Certain.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for something just because I have not taken that same responsibility before.
I see, realize and understand that fear will not support me in doing what I have not done before – thus when and as I experience fear in doing something/take responsibility in a way I have not done before – I stop and breathe – I do not trust/follow or react to the fear but simply breathe realizing that this fears is of the Mind and not “who I am”.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I only do/act/behave/take responsibility for what I have always done/acted/behaved/taken responsibility for – I am Limited – I stuck myself and I am acting/doing/behaving in Self-interest and only Responde/React to the Self-interest I have programmed myself as and in this do not take actual Responsibility at all = I am simply following my programm.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the “unknown” as Points/Situations/People I have never been before and thus have no reverence of how to behave/act/do/responde.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather than facing the fears of the “Unknown” in all various contexts, remain in “what I have always known” as I believe that this will give/bring me Security, what is nothing more than Fear.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if react to fear/act from the Starting-Point of Fear the Outcome/Result will be fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed Myself to Not Realize that the Fear only exists in a Mind-Dimension as a Projection, and vanishes as soon as I go embracing the Unknown, finding out “who I am” in and as it.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that “the Unknow/something New” only exits in the Mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the Unknown or “something New” is only a Problem in the Mind/for the Mind because then its Knowledge and Information has to change and so it/I as the Mind will perceive to lose itself/myself/lose control.
I see, realize and understand that the Mind as Energy has a inherent resistance against Change/Movement, its inertia- just like physical Objects in this physical Reality.
I see, realize and understand that if I act/behave/do/respond/react in ways/how I have always done/acted/reacted/behaved/responded = I am limited, I limit myself, I stuck myself and in this I am simply following my pre-programmed Self-interest as Mind/Ego/Energy, which can not be the in Fact SOLUTION but only s Salute to the Mind/Consciousness and the faithFool protector and defender of Selfinterest.
Thus, when and as I see that I am acting/behaving/reacting/responding/doing things in the always same way, expecting a new/different result/outcome – I stop and breathe – I investigate the Point and my Behaviour-Pattern in Selfhonesty and change myself in Common Sense according to what is best for All as best for Self.
I see, realize and understand that I do not in fact need a reference of how to act/behave/responde/life/behave in “unknown situations” but act/life/respond according to Principle as what is best for all.
I see, realize and understand that only the Mind needs references and that these memory-references are in Fact Self-Limitations.
When and as I see that I fear something/unknown/what I haven’t done/experienced before and think that I need a reference of how to do/be/act/behave/conduct myself – I stop and breathe – I realize that I do not need any reference as limitation – I simply breath here in and as Self-honesty in Self-trust, that is enough.
I realize that accepting the fear of the Unknown/Something New will perpetuate Limitation and result in the same starting-point fear.
I see, realize and understand that the fear of the Unknown/something New is not real and does only exist in a Mind-Dimension and vanishes/stops as soon as I stop allowing myself to give into it staring paralyzed at illusions, but rather move myself and act in and as breath.
Thus when an as I experience Fear of the Unknown – I stop and breathe, I move myself to make the unknown know, finding out who I am and see the fear vanishing as a stop participating and paying attention to illusions in m mind and instead align myself with physical practical Doing.
I see, realize and understand that the “Unknown and Something New” as fear trigger can in fact only exist in and as the Mind as in Equality and Oneness as Life, for the Physical that is here – Nothing is Unknown or New as all is here and known already wherein I see that the very believe/existence of Knowledge and Information is a Separation when not lifed equal and One.
I see, realize and understand that life as “who I am” can not have a Problem with “the Unknown or Something New” as it is always it self as well as an Equal.
I see, realize and understand that the proper Way to approach and go about “the Unknown” in what ever form is to embrace it as an Equal Part of Me as well.
When and as I see that I make a Problem out of “the Unknown” or doing/facing something New – I stop and breathe – I realize, see and understand that this can only exist within my mind – In reality I am equal to the Unknown as well, I just have to walk the space and time process to equalize myself to and realize myself as it.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself fear the unknown in any Way – stop and breathe and remind myself of the Stupidity of Self-Limitation that is me in and as fear of the Unknown – I breathe and find out “who I am”.