Mittwoch, 24. Oktober 2012

Tag 184: Corrections for Tag 183

Art: Damian Ledesma
I commit myslef to when and as I feel Controled or caught to immediately realize “hey I am controlling myself and trapping myself in the mind”, and in that moment taking a breath and looking within myself in self-honesty to see the point that needs correction and forgive myself for feeling Controlled in this setting myself free from my self-created trap that I caught myself within and as the mind – realizing and living Selfhonesty as  breath
In this I see/realize/understand that the only place where in can get caught/stuck/be controlled is my own mind thus the only solution is already here as myself = practically walking out and deconstructing the mind as the creation of me wherein I assist and support myself with the tools of Selfforgiveness, Writing and Breath to pave the way and walk the talk
When and as I see myself interpreting a expression of another being, such as my mother calling me to “do sth.” as “a commandment” – I stop and breathe – I realize that in the moment I within myslef accept, allow and stand in th principle of Control as Energy/Consicousness, wherein and as which I accept and allow Inequality, fear of and desire for the perception of Power and control within me – Thus I stop, forgive myself, release the illusion of thin-king that Power/Control actually exists and align myself to, with and as the Moment in Equality and Oneness as Life wherein I support myself with and as Breath
 Further I disconnect the “another being telling me sth. “  from the perception of being “commanded and controlled” whenever the point comes up in my mind/world/reality
I commit myself to show that it is my own decision to identify myself with the word commandment as a form of control because i have accepted and allowed – and in this decided – to believe in Power/control as Inequality
I commit myself to once and for all stop myself from blaming my mother/parents/environment/world/reality/teachers/Politicians/governmets/Chefs  partner/beings I speak with/positions/activities/responsabilities/rooms/foods/cloths/ instiutions for causing me to feel “controlled” or creating the experience of Control within myself
When and as I see myself acting on emotional reactions connected to “being called” for example with my name – I stop and take a in breath, clear myself in self-forgiveness, let go in the outbreath wherin I stabilize myself here and only speak when I am am clear
In this I see the deliberateness of my “speaking back” for feeling not considered/offended, what I could actually exactly see in that moment but did not stop myself, but rather going into self-righteousness thinking “What the fuck, how dare you…”
So I commit myslef to become more aware of those points/moments that are actually “doors” or “windows”, lol, yes either “Backdoors” for me as Ego/the Mind to come in full force or windows of opportunity where I have the power to change/transform/direct myself and in this the Moment and the whole playout of the situation, the day etc. The decision is: Do I get over myself as Ego/Self-interest? Wherein is see that its not so much to get OVER it, but to actually face myself in full awareness and breathe through my reaction as me one and equal  
When and as I see that I want need desire to be accepted/supported/liked/loved by my mother/parents – I stop and realize “hey that need is a mind-system with me – Life don’t need love/acceptance/love/validation from others, life is here self-responsible, self-directive as breath, doing what is best for all” and in this I accept myself as Lifeas Equality and actually do what is best for all
When and as I see myself going into feelings of unworthniess/disappointment /doubting myself when I see another/mother/parents reacting with disappointment to my decisions or behaviour – I stop and breath, I stand within myself as breath, breathe through the energetic experiance of disappointment within myself, wherein I do not allow myself to deny me own reactions and emotional experiences within myself BUT also not allowing myself to further feed them in discussing and justifying myself with an other being that has its complete own process, own mind and own agendas that I connect myself to and here it comes: make myself FEEL responsible for – again this is me as the Mind as a System within/as me wanting to be important and CONNECTED.
Thus what I practically do to support myself in this/those/such Similar Moments is to keep the Communiction PRACTIAL and informative and Disconect myself from the situation for a moment, stopping the accepted and allowed believe that “I am responsible to Sort out the situation NOW” and rather face and sort out myself, my reactions, fears in selfforgiveness and stopping myself in the moment as Breath

When and as I think/believe that “I do not (have to) face the point/Experience of Disappointment/Self-Doubt” its “theirs” – I stop and breathe I see that this is a sentence of not wanting to face my own self-created experience of Dissapointment/Self-doubt (despite knowing that I have to/that it exists) and thus projecting it onto others, abdicating my responsabilty to face the points is awareness and walk through in breath – Thus I commit myself to when and as I see mself thinking that “it is thiers” stop, realize that my environment is only mirroring me back what I have accepted and allowed to rule/direct me as for example self-doubt/disappointment/anxieties/worries and thus it is my responsabilty and Process to investigate and really get to the bottom of where this experiences Come from = Myself  

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